Potential is a Dirty Word

I realized today the depth of my dislike for the word potential. It's destructive. Don't use it. I know people who apply it are well-meaning and attempting to be complimentary, but when I hear it in relationship to myself, I get one of two messages, or both of them alternating:

#1) In my opinion, you're not there yet. You could be doing so much more with your life. Why aren't you using all your gifts?

#2) You need to work a lot harder to become who you really are. The pressure is on. You are not acceptable "as is."

(OK, these two messages are so similar that they're actually the same message. Perhaps I have the potential for redundancy.)

These messages, people, are not encouragement. They are a mental death sentence. I've experienced the damaging effects of abundant potential for myself and I see it in others whom I care deeply about. And I'm pissed off about it today. Because I'm pretty sure that believing you have potential versus accepting and loving yourself right where you are can lead to a pretty serious bout of depression. Don't we have enough trouble seeing and admitting what is good in ourselves?

If you live in America you're also lucky enough to be daily bombarded both willingly and unwillingly, consciously, subconsciously and unconsciously by media monsters with a single message: YOU ARE DISSATISFIED WITH YOURSELF AND EVERY SINGLE THING IN YOUR LIFE. UNLESS YOU BUY THIS PRODUCT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A LOSER. IF, HOWEVER YOU DO BUY THIS PRODUCT YOU WILL FULFILL YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL. Advertisers loooooooooove our potential.

The "P" word has been applied liberally to me throughout my life, and I have to say I've cringed at least a little bit every time I've heard it. It's not that I think I am or even want to be perfect already. It's not that I can't take feedback. I love feedback. I also genuinely enjoy the process of growing towards a summit and learning what doesn't work along the way. In theatre, I've always gotten at least as much (and very often more) juice out of the rehearsal process than performances. And blah blah blah, I know, but it is actually true that failures usually teach us more than successes.

So I say fuck potential. That is someone else's idea of who you are and who you can and/or should be. Be who you are right now...and place a lot more emphasis on what's good.